This writing is a continuation of a conversation that I recently had. I honestly believe that I have lived through this life to share my experiences with others in a hope that my path and obstacles help others with their own. I have a gift for gab and have lived a life that has had many obstacles and I have no problem sharing my own failures and success (when they occur). I seem to have a gift (and am thankful for it) of being a soothing balm to others when they are in need of an ear and shoulder and sometimes an awful story that makes them laugh and look at the person in from of them (me, the surviving ass) and realize that life is survivable, even if it doesn’t seem so cheery at the present moment.
It has taken me a lifetime to build the person who I am. It has taken a lifetime to find an inner light in myself that overcomes what others fling at me and if allowed, would be enough to tear down everything that I have built up in myself. One of the hardest things to become in life is confident in ourselves. We are surrounded by a world that seems to know what is best for us and wants to drive us to impossible standards. We are also surrounded by people who would tear us down, manipulate and use us, if allowed, for their own gain, for inflating their own ego’s, for whatever selfish reasons they use so that they can sleep at night. This writing is in hopes to help someone I know and love to find their inner light and magnificence.
We are all unique, flawed and one of a kind people. Nobody is perfect and if someone believes they are, run fast from that person as they are even more delusional than you and I. There is an art to finding beauty in flaws but when you do, you see a beautiful and unique world lying ahead of you. Our flaws are our lessons in life. The scars and errors that help mold us into being better than we were. They are our “skinned knee’s” that remind us to learn from our errors and not make the same mistakes again, if possible. Each flaw, scar, lesson learned is a badge of honor and wisdom. We do not become knowledgeable from not living. We learn by making mistakes and pulling ourselves up from the deep dark depth of failure and becoming enriched by the experience. It hurts my heart to know that there are people out there who would strip us down and try and make another person less of who they are. When we are in the middle of making mistakes and learning what we need to from a given lesson in life, this is not the time to take advantage of another and belittle them and try to squelch their inner light and hope of finding the other side…of surviving.
These are my words from my life and experience to you….I hope you read them and I hope that I can give you some of what helps me find my way in my dark moments. You are a wonderful person, you are special and everything that someone else may see as a flaw or something that makes you lessor than what they believe you should be is a unique gift for you to grow, nurture and learn from. An example, I have what I believe is mild OCD and this is probably a ‘gift’ that came with my ADD/ADHD. Someone else may thing it is quirky that I check the doors several times to ensure they are locked…even though they probably are. Well, I just see this as an extra security measure that ensures our doors and windows are locked at our house. I have more than once come across an unlocked door or window that my husband, God love him, in his chaos filled mind and busy life has forgotten to go back and lock. If said husband is reading this, no worries as your OCD wife is walking behind you ensuring your security as far as the window and doors are concerned. And you are probably just finding out about this as I see no reason to nitpick at you and add one more thing to your chaotic mind that you will probably forget anyways when distracted by something such as a blackberry, dog or crazy nitpicky wife. Back to the moral of my story…my OCD could be viewed as a fault, but when not turn a fault into a gift. Why not view a negative and make it a positive. You can change your whole outlook on life if you choose to see the good in things verses the bad or negative. Take your faults and build upon them. Build them into strong characteristics which enhances you, make you wiser. So you believe the awful things bullies and other people say about you…you wear thick glasses and your mom permed your hair and you look like a poodle (I know this one first hand….thanks mom….I love you regardless)…..your picked on because your different and don’t fit into the cool crowd. Who cares! You are different and you aren’t some mindless clone of a sheep trying to become something that you are not. Revel in your difference! Embrace your difference with two hands and believe in your heart that you are awesome, unique, and special. The only thing in life that can hold you back is yourself and believing what others say. If the cool crowd jumped off a bridge because the end of the world was happening…I don’t know, say December 21st, 2012 and they said we were all going to die so we might as well jump…..well wouldn’t you feel like a complete ass if you followed them and didn’t wake up with the rest of us on December 22nd, 2012? I am not saying the doomsday people are asses, they believed what they believed and to each their own…but I am using this as an example….think for yourself, believe in yourself, you do not have to follow the crowd and be a sheep! Be yourself and be proud of who that person is. You will be amazed at how different life can be when you can look yourself in the mirror and say “I am ok with the person looking back at me”. It is an awesome feeling to be able to hear other peoples thoughts or lack thereof and internally tell them to shove it and laugh at their misguided beliefs….you might also catch a glimpse of a very unhappy person who is taking their unhappiness out on what they believe is a weaker target. Don’t buy into that farm! Smile and hold your head up and hold tight to what makes you awesome and walk away! Or if you can be the bigger person, smile and reach out your hand and see if you can turn Mr. /Mrs. Nasty Pants into a happier person.
Cliff note and could and will probably be a whole BLOG unto itself. Be careful with your mean darts. All those mean things you do and say, they do come back to haunt you. You do not get to say mean things without causing scars and damage to those who receive them. No matter how confident you are, sometimes, some things do affect you and can cause irreversible damage. All the mean and misguided things we do to others can cause scars that will shape future interactions. If you tell someone that they are ugly or unworthy remember that this can come back to bite you when you are telling the same person how much you love and cherish them and now they don’t believe you because you already inflicted the damage previously. Most mean darts (hurtful words or actions) can be fixed but it takes twice the time to fix your wayward ways than it does to not be a mean and hateful person to begin with. Sometimes all the mean things others do can build an impenetrable shield that someone builds up to protect themselves and there will come a time that you want to cozy up to a warm heart but have to cut through layers of ice built from meanness and ugliness. Maybe next time in an argument, hold your tongue and mean darts and you will be rewarded by not creating scars to deal with down the road. Trust me, some scars inflicted take years to heal and there is nothing you can do to force the process. You must wait and hope that the damage you inflicted is not irreversible.
End thought, you don’t have to be the smartest, most beautiful, skinniest…..you are who you make yourself. You are as beautiful, smart and awesome as you believe yourself to be. You are wonderful as you make yourself. Do not let others thoughts or opinions make you less than who you are and who you can be. We are all awesome just as we are. Find you’re awesome and grab ahold!